Leaving on a jet plane

On Sunday I will travel to Hyderabad, India to attend the 4th Asia-Pacific Conference on Reproductive & Sexual Health and Rights (APCRSH). It will be my first time to travel to Hyderabad, but this is already my 4th trip to India (previous 3 were to Delhi and Agra). The first APCRSH conference was held in Manila, where I was part of the rapporteur team. The second was held in Bangkok while the 3rd was in Kuala Lumpur.

I’m quite excited to make this trip especially because this is the first time that I have received a full scholarship in any of the international conferences. My abstracts have been accepted in at least 5 AIDS conferences, but I have never received even a partial scholarship from any of them. This is why I was hesitant to submit an abstract for this conference but I guess my (hopelessly) optimistic self prevailed and I was pleasantly surprised when I was informed that I was indeed a recipient of a full scholarship.

My abstract is another story, though. I actually submitted 2 abstracts: 1 for my MSM-related consultancy, and another for my project with young people. I was more confident of my first abstract but it was rejected; the second was accepted. And even if I submitted it to be a poster presentation, it was accepted as an oral presentation. I was astonished when I learned this. Not because I have a fear of speaking publicly but because the project behind this abstract did not end satisfactorily (for me, and I can only assume, for my client).

It’s one of those unfortunate confluences of circumstances that independent consultants would just like to forget and put behind them as quickly as possible. In late 2006 I was commissioned by PLAN International to develop a curriculum for teaching adolescent reproductive health to out-of-school youth with very low literacy levels. After a long period of wrangling on my professional fee (a sign that I ignored) and the general budget, the work finally started. By March of 2007 I already had a draft, which was based on a series of consultation with the client. I was astonished to receive a slew of negative comments on the draft. New issues surfaced when we made sure every issue was taken up before I started writing (another sign that I ignored yet again). But I remained focused and determined to complete the project, even if it required new tasks that were not part of my contract. Then my expatriate contact person was replaced by a Cambodian staff member, who was very slow in responding to my inquiries, causing more delays in the project.

By May I already needed to be working on another project with UNAIDS, which I favored because (1) this was a regular client; (2) this client paid me appropriately, i.e. no haggling; and (3) this client trusts my judgment in a way that I hadn’t felt with PLAN. So I decided to let them know that as soon I have submitted the revised curriculum, I will not do the last part of the consultancy anymore, which is the training of trainers. They agreed. The submission, however, was delayed further because they were very slow in responding to my specific requests and inquiries relating to the finalization of the curriculum.

When I finally submitted the final curriculum, I was a few days away from going to Beijing to do a short project there. I sent this client the document (hard & soft copies) and then I got this harsh email informing me that I had to meet them to ‘process’ the document that I submitted. I replied that I had no time to meet them because I was about to go to China. I suggested that if they have further comments to just put those comments in an email then send it to me and we can meet again when I am back in 2 weeks. I was already irritated at this point but I kept my cool. Then I received this email saying that if I do not meet them within 48 hours they will not process my final payment. I sent the same reply and added that the decision to pay me is entirely up to them. ‘I can easily earn that money elsewhere, without this much aggravation’, I said finally.

Almost a month after sending that email, a PLAN human resource staff emailed me to tell me that they will not indeed issue my final payment. As if I was still counting on that money. I had said my farewell to the USD4,000.00++ that I was entitled to receive right after I replied to their previous email.

In the whole time that I had been doing independent consulting, that was by far my worst experience. But it looks like something good still came out of that terrible experience. The abstract was written while I was revising the curriculum, when I was still optimistic about the project as a whole. The abstract focused on the process of developing the curriculum, not really on the content. There were many lessons learned in developing the curriculum. As many as the lessons I learned from working with PLAN. These, however, will not be part of my oral presentation.

And on Sunday I’m going to India! I’m looking forward to seeing my good friend Joyce, people I know like Glenn, Malyn, Arpita, Radhika, Dede, Sushma, and Dok Eden. Many Cambodians got their abstracts accepted for this conference. I know some of them. I’m just not sure whether all of them got received scholarships. I probably won’t be able to post anything from there because of the hectic schedule (I will try) but for sure I’ll tell you about it when I come back to Phnom Penh on November 3. Joyce and I decided to stay an extra day to visit some sites and, of course, to shop for some Indian bling-bling!

Not ready to make nice

I woke up with a clogged nose and sniffles this morning.

Great, I thought, 3 days before my trip to India and I’m about to have a flu. This started yesterday when I woke up with pain in my throat. I ignored it and by lunch time I had completely forgotten about it. I joined my friends for lunch in another friend’s house, in celebration of Hav’s birthday. I had roast chicken, pork asado, mashed potato, spring rolls, and spaghetti. Though I hadn’t eaten my (usual) fill, I found myself feeling too queasy to eat dessert, which was unfortunate because Ted prepared pineapple cheese cake–a favorite.

When I went back home at 2PM Kimrun was already waiting for me. We almost jumped into each other because we hadn’t seen each other in 2 weeks. After a nice quick round of farewell sex (he was set to go on his monthly provincial monitoring visits the next day and we won’t be seeing each other until after I’ve come back from India) we talked over cups of hot chocolate. My throat has become very sore at this time and I couldn’t taste the sweetness of the drink. I joked that it was probably sexually transmitted. Kimrun didn’t find it funny, though.

Towards early evening I began to feel body pain–a clear sign that I was about to have fever. I called Marikit and asked her to send my masseur over. She had to send another guy because apparently it was my regular guy’s day off. New guy administered a hard-enough massage that relieved my pain, but clearly he still had some ways to go to reach the level of skills of my regular guy.

After the massage I felt well enough to work on my presentation for India. Too well, in fact, that I couldn’t focus on the task. I realized I didn’t have dinner yet. So when Marikit and Nill called at 9PM and invited me to meet them at Talkin’ to a Stranger, a bar just walking distance from my home, I went. The 3 of us didn’t drink anything alcoholic. Nill had iced tea, Marikit had lime soda while I had ginger soda. I also ordered a sandwich for dinner.

The heart of our discussion was the little drama unfolding as Nill is setting up the magazine SQUARE, for which I will serve as Editor-in-Chief. Somebody is causing Nill much grief and frustration but he has decided to deal with this person later, when things in the magazine have become less hectic. In my view what happened was a very minor setback, one that can ultimately prove to be a blessing for Nill’s company. So probably because the topic of our conversation was about people who have wronged us, Mikey’s name came up.

Marikit mentioned seeing him in one occasion and we noted the fact that now he is in the company of people that my friends do not consider as friends. It’s true, actually, he had gravitated to this other group of people that me and my friends do not socialize with. It’s actually a bit funny that in the 8 months since I drove Mikey out of my house, our paths hasn’t crossed even once. For a city as small as Phnom Penh, this is a bit strange. It could be because I hadn’t gone out at night in a long time. I mean, I only started going out again in the last 3 weeks or so. 

Honestly, I don’t mind not seeing Mikey. I will be fine even if I never see him again. should we end up in the same place, I know that it will not matter to me because I am very good at ignoring the people that I don’t want to see or speak with. I will not raise my eyebrows or say some side comment in his presence. I will just totally ignore him. I told Marikit and Nill about the email Mikey sent me a few months ago. How he said he felt bad about what happened and all that BS. They asked me how I responded to the said email and I told them that I didn’t see the point in answering the letter. Marikit said that it will probably be good for me to forgive Mikey so he won’t be a burden to me.

I disagreed. Not because I am still mad or angry at Mikey. At this point, I can safely say that I am not upset with him. I don’t feel anything for him anymore. I do not consider him an enemy. He’s just a stranger to me now. My view on forgiveness is this: forgiving someone is done after careful consideration, and it doesn’t guarantee a resumption of a severed relationship. I do not adhere to the adage forgive & forget. The reason I did not answer Mikey’s email is primarily because I did not feel that he was being sincere. There was no admission of guilt, especially about what he did to my mother, so the request for forgiveness felt hollow and contrived. I think that email was written because he was sad at that time (for reasons I will not speculate on), and not because he was sad at losing my friendship.

I have mourned our friendship and I have accepted its end. I have moved on so now, I am under no obligation at all to even be civil with him. And no amount of Mikey-sightings will drag my emotions down like a crab pulled back by its brothers. This is not just my flu talking.

Another day in paradise

I learned about the blast that rocked the Glorietta 2 mall in Makati City in the Philippines about an hour after it happened, when news about it appeared in my MSN home page. Soon after I received text messages from my friends in Manila and my Filipino friends here in Phnom Penh. I wanted to write about it the next day (Saturday) but when I searched for it in Yahoo I was surprised to find no news about it. In CNN and BBC, reports were at best, sketchy. I then tried the websites of ABS-CBN and INQ7.net and reports were of the same quality.

Among the (few) facts I learned: the blast hit the ground floor of Glorietta 2 at around 1.30 in the afternoon of Friday; the blast was so strong that it shattered the roof of the 3-storey mall; 6 people (at that time) were dead, about 80 were injured. The cause was still being determined, although many speculations have been made: terror attack, LPG leak, car bomb, political diversion, etc.

Fortunately I received an email from a friend who gave me an account of the blast that was clearer than any news item I’ve read so far. Vic was on his way to Makati when he encountered the traffic that resulted when police cordoned off the major roads leading to and out of the city. He also told me of the degree of speculation that was happening as to the real cause of the blast. Yesterday it was reported that the explosive CD4 was found in ground zero. An extremist group has claimed responsibility for the blast. The President visited the victims in the hospital. A fire razed a restaurant in Glorietta 4–part of the upscale shopping complex.

So I decided to postpone writing about it for another day, because I wanted more information. This morning, however, as I scanned for news about the blast, a batch of news conflicted the previous reports. An accident angle is now being pursued by investigators, lending weight to the gas leak theory. The claims of the extremist group was apparently ‘invalid’. A senator has called for an impartial body to investigate the blast for fear that the outcome might be manipulated by government. More stories on the victims–dead and injured–surfaced, espousing their own theories on who should be held responsible. The fire was ruled un-related to the Friday blast. Police tells the stores to remain open and the public to go on shopping.

To this last item, may I just say: As if anything could keep Filipinos from going to the mall!

Looking at how stories on the blast have gone to different directions, I can only marvel at how a tragic event like this has once again reflected the current social and political climate in my dear old country. On one side, you have the politicians pointing fingers at each other and looking for someone to blame, on another side, you have the victim’s kin also who are also looking for the parties responsible for the terrible fate. On yet another side, there is the conglomerate who owns Glorietta, worried on how the outcome of the investigation will affect their business (after all, a terror attack is considered force majeur in insurance terms, rather than accidental gas leak). Let us not forget the media, reporting and pursuing all leads for a ‘good’ story. We Pinoys love a good sob story focusing on the effects of the blast on the individual and the family, then on stirring the pot of speculation with yet another theory. Soon the blast itself will become a footnote in somebody’s agenda. All of us will know how we felt when it happened, but not all of us will know what actually happened–and why.

Truth, as always, has remained elusive.

But we go on. I remember the December 30 Light Railway Transit bombing in Manila in 2000. Ground zero was very close to my home; it was the station that I used when taking the train. The next day was New Year’s eve and I had to make some last minute shopping. Against my mother’s wishes I took the train. The station was eerily quiet, but the trains were still filled with Christmas shoppers. That is Pinoy resilience for you. Love it or leave it.

Makin’ whoopee

Saturday morning is usually the time for me to go to the market. I’d wake up around 7am then be out of the house by 7.30-7.45, depending on how sluggish I feel upon waking up. First stop is usually Phsar (market) Boeung Keng Kang–about 10 minutes away from my house by tuktuk (similar to the Thai tuktuk, or an over-sized tricycle by Philippine standards). This is a local Khmer market (not tourist-y at all) that is frequented by many Filipinos because of the wide selection of products and lower, Khmer-level prices. This is where I buy pork, chicken, the freshwater fish that I like because of its semblance to the Philippine dalag, and vegetables.

My second stop is Phsar Thmey (literally: new market). This is the huge art deco-style, yellow, cross-shaped building that was built on reclaimed marshland. You can buy almost anything here: from fresh goods and grocery items to jewelry and appliances. What I buy here are seafood like shrimp, squid, and many kinds of fish, and beef. I also buy my Laotian coffee here, along with local grocery items like dtuek trey (fish sauce), dtuek si-iw (soy sauce), among others. My last stop on market day is Bayon Market and/or Lucky Market, Phnom Penh’s version of the supermarket. I shop equally in these two shops because each of them has its own unique products and if both of them have the same product, prices are seldom the same so I compare prices and buy it cheaper.

Saturday is also usually the day when I cook. During the week I just let my yaya (literally: nanny, but this is just the way I call my housekeeper)  plan and cook my meals. I like eating many Khmer dishes so this isn’t really a problem. But on weekends I cook Filipino foods that I particularly miss. My yaya has, in fact, learned to cook some of these things just by watching me. Oftentimes, though, when I ask her to cook it, she puts a little something that gives it a twist–an unexpected ingredient. It works most of the time. I would sometimes cook Sopas (chicken macaroni soup–my all time favorite comfort food), Asado (chicken or pork slow-cooked in tomato, onion & oregano gravy), Menudo Kapampangan (pork, potatoes & carrots in liver gravy), Estofado (stewed pork), among others. Then I would invite a few friends over to partake of whatever food I prepared for lunch or an afternoon merienda (snack).

But today I didn’t go anywhere near a market because I woke up at almost 10 in the morning already. Dave, Nill, Marikit and I played mahjong last night until 2.30am and I managed to sleep at around 4am so I was really feeling lazy. I spent the morning browsing through my latest favorite blogsite, saw that it has a section on South-East Asian food and thought of sharing some recipes I know. I sent them an email and I am sharing with you some parts of it so that even if I didn’t physically do any cooking today, at least I wrote about it.

Despite the Spanish name, the Adobo has been prepared by Filipinos long before we were colonized by Spaniards because it was a good way to preserve meat. Today, Adobo is truly the national Filipino dish (not lechon or spit-roast pig–as some people claim). Proof of this is the fact there are many ways to cook Adobo, depending on which region of the Philippines you come from. In the Bicol region, coconut milk is added while in Batangas, annato oil is used. I’ve tried one version of Adobo in the Visayas (central Philippines) where ginger is a key ingredient, while in the Filipino-Chinese community Adobo is cooked with star anise. And then there’s also the wide range of meats and vegetables that you can cook Adobo-style, like chicken, pork, hard-boiled eggs, a combination of these 3, beef (not so popular), catfish, squid, string beans, eggplant, okra, and water convulvulus (kangkong).

Adobo is the first dish I learned to cook, probably because of its inherent simplicity. It is the perfect food to bring on trips. I can recall many family picnics and excursions with friends where Adobo is always a part of the menu. My family hails from Central Luzon (mother from Bulacan, father from Pampanga), and our Adobo is largely considered the traditional, if not official (?) version. I have served this to my Cambodian friends and they love it. My recipe is based on what I learned from my mother, with a few modifications. It uses chicken and pork but as I earlier said, this can be modified, e.g. boiled eggs can be substituted for pork, and so on.

Chicken and Pork Adobo (serves 8-10)

Ingredients:
1 kg pork belly or shoulder, cut into large chunks
1 whole chicken, cut into serving pieces
1 head of garlic, cloves minced
1/2 cup of soy sauce
1 1/2 cups of vinegar
1 1/2 cups of water
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon whole peppercorn
3 pcs bay leaf
1/2 cup canola oil (for frying)

Procedure:
1. Put pork and chicken in a large casserole dish (do not use an aluminum casserole because this will react to the vinegar). Sprinkle garlic, salt and peppercorns. Mix vinegar, water, and soy sauce and pour into casserole.
2. Bring to a boil without stirring. When mixture boils, add bay leaves and lower heat to simmer. Simmer until meats are tender, about 30 minutes. Remove from casserole and reserve the liquid.
3. In a wok, heat oil and brown pork and chicken in batches. Remove from oil as pork and chicken browns. After browning all meats, remove half of the oil remaining in the wok. Add the reserved liquid and mix in the browned pork and chicken. Simmer for another 5 minutes then serve.

Adobo is best served with hot steamed rice and chopped tomatoes drizzled with patis (fish sauce) or rock salt. For a complete meal of comfort food, serve it with hot rice and the ‘proper’ accompanying dish, which is Monggo Guisado (Stewed Mung Beans). When eaten for breakfast, Adobo is usually served with fried eggs, garlic fried rice or hot pan de sal (the Filipino breakfast bread).

Writing about cooking is not quite as good as actually doing it (like sex) but it will do for now. Enjoy!

Here we go again

I love pop quizzes. I came to realize this yesterday when I was leafing through the old magazines in the house. I found most quizzes answered and marked well, even if some of the quizzes did not clearly apply to me. Clearly not the product of just idleness, as I earlier claimed. Most recently I posted 5 quizzes that I found hilarious (which I hope you took as well).

These 3 quizzes were in my Hi5 profile. Enjoy!

You Are Indigo

Of all the shades of blue, you are the most funky, unique, and independent. Expressing yourself and taking a leap of faith has always been easy for you.

What Color Blue Are You?

Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 95% Dr. Doom 90% Magneto 89% Venom 85% Mystique 84% The Joker 78% Dark Phoenix 78% Juggernaut 76% Mr. Freeze 70% Lex Luthor 70% Poison Ivy 70% Catwoman 68% Riddler 67% Kingpin 56% Two-Face 56% Green Goblin 44%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the “Which Super Villain am I?” quiz…
I AM
64%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz