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Borderline

Friday, November 9, 2007

This morning, while waiting for my friend to pick me up for our fortnightly visit to the manicurist, I turned on my computer and logged on to my blog. I read my latest post to see (again) if my rant was as vitriolic as some of my (remaining) friends think. I guess I wanted to reassess whether I crossed the line between candidness and tactlessness.

This particular post was painful to write, primarily because I was (am) still hurting when I wrote it. My usual practice was to wait a few days and when my rage has subsided I can somehow inject some objectivity in my writing. I normally reserve this alacrity when writing poetry but in this case, I made an exception. I wrote while my wounds were still fresh, so to speak, and I found the result to be angry and yet, restrained. Well, that didn’t happen until after I edited the draft twice before deciding it was publishable.

What has this particular post done to me and my blog?

My friends who have read it have given me their comments verbally. So far, no one has posted any comment on the site itself. Even Derrick, who comments on my posts frequently, is amazingly silent. I can only wonder why.

Last night I asked a friend on whether she thinks there is something libelous in my post. She said that if the person/s I was referring to in the post was/were not sensitive, they would not find anything libelous in the post. While this particular friend is notorious for being able to answer questions in the most oblique manner (she’s got a bad case of logorrhea most of the time–but that is another story), I took that as a yes.

But I am inclined to disagree. I am no legal expert, but I think I know about libel and slander well enough to think that I have not committed libel. To the best of my knowledge, libel is a written defamation, or written (and published) words that falsely and negatively reflect on a living person’s reputation. I learned this when I wrote for television many years ago. All the things I wrote about in this blog are true. I didn’t name these people as an exercise in restraint but aside from this, I did not hold anything back.

My only real apprehension was whether my article crossed the thin line between self-expression and self-victimization. Or simply put, between good taste and bad taste. As I finished reading it, I realized that my apprehension was unfounded.

Will I write this way again in the future? I cannot say. Most of the time, my posts are reactions to things that happen to me or to people who are important to me. This is, after all, a personal blog. But like I said, writing about painful things in one’s life is painful, however cathartic.

Much as I want it, I cannot expect that painful things will stop happening to me. I can only wish that my strength for dealing with these painful things does not fail me in the future.

Posted by pinakadalisay at 12:38 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

ayan, eto i’ll have my comment na… sana wag mangyari na mapabilang ang initials ko sa kanila, hahaha! i hope we’ll stay good friends always. cheer up kapatid!

Posted by joycee at November 9, 2007, 2:04 pm

hi mike.

i always enjoy reading your posts. they are written with wisdom and humor and most importantly, you are able to express this almost raw (no pun intended) emotions. You bring the reader to where you are standing as you gaze(observer) and/or experience (actor of the play) life.

Reading this post - or should i say this post-mortem script (this is kinda morbid - but am in a mood for black humor, sort of, i hope i am successful in triggering such), post-mortem in the sense that friendships were buried and let go - the word libel struck me. It never even crossed my mind that such would even be considered, in the first place. Such a personal blog is meant to express one’s true feelings, and if one cant do that, why write a blog (diary) to begin with. it is supposed to invoke catharsis. An account of an event without malicious intent cant be labeled as libelous.

i was quiet, yeah, i was, for the main reason that it is bothersome thinking about how events unfolded and more so, how vulnerable a person with a good heart can be, knowingly or unknowingly.

i would say, just savor in the fact that, as a literary person, and because of what you have written, you have elicited commentaries that are bringing about a healthy discourse of opinions.

now you got my reaction.

derick

p.s. by the way, i am both sanguine and choleric

Posted by derick at November 9, 2007, 3:28 pm

i agree with joyce, ie. sana wag mapabilang ang initials ko sa kanila. agree with derrick too, ie, blogging is expressing what one feels and what one thinks. what/how one feels can’t be negated by no one. who is to judge what’s “good taste” or otherwise? there must be a bottomline somehow tho. but who sets the standards? log frame itoh!
at the end of the day, que se hoda…pain and joy are always a pair. accept them gracefully as they come. revel in both — dialectics of life. the exciting thing is the challenge of being able to wing it. i’m sure you can.

Posted by maldita at November 10, 2007, 1:21 am

joy, derrick & mz joy, your comments are one of my sources of validation on the reasons why i continue blogging. you also make me realize who my real friends are and recognize the other people around me for what they really are: unworthy creatures of questionable character–not to mention limited grammar skills! love you guys!

Posted by pinakadalisay at November 10, 2007, 1:38 am

Dear anak,
felt your pain and disappointment. But forge on, life is insipid without those pains.

Posted by ruthy at November 12, 2007, 12:46 pm

thanks po, inang, for the comfort.

Posted by pinakadalisay at November 12, 2007, 8:21 pm

halu ateng,
just started reading your post, i do enjoy reading it… i really like the way you write… naalala mo ba yong mga binigay mo sa aking copy of your shorts stories… i still have it, and sometimes i do keep on reading it…
quever ko ba kong napabilang ang initials ko d2… heheh!! wla ka nmang masamang sinabi about sa akin… davah?? hahahah… i know that we seldom see each other, like it takes almost a year bago tayo magkita ulit, pro alam mo nman i do respect you and luv u my dear friend…
basta, just keep on writing, marami kaming gustong magbasa ng iyong mga sinusulat…
just want to say sorry, dahil hindi ako masyadong nakapagcomment the last time we’ve talked…heheheh!!
babush, hanggang sa susunod… mwaaah!!

Posted by dreign at November 15, 2007, 3:56 pm

thanks, eng, for the kind words. i appreciate the gesture, and no need to apologize. there are indeed friends whom you need not see frequently but remain friends with. i’m glad to realize you’re one of them. take care!

Posted by pinakadalisay at November 16, 2007, 1:14 am

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Zen Bitch

an old soul, paying for his karmic debts as a chronicler of tales of joy and misery, as a listener to other people's secrets, and as the voice of the unspeakable. makata. manunulat. development worker. kasuyo. bugtong na anak. a former drag performer. kalaguyo. kaibigan. future carpenter, bread-maker, or bar-tender.