King of pain

When I returned from Kuala Lumpur last Thursday (Feb 28) noon, I returned to a quiet house. My housekeeper had just resigned the day before I left for KL, so the house was naturally empty. I unpacked and did some cleaning immediately thereafter. I had a late lunch of reheated stir-fried vegetables and meat at around 3PM. For dinner, I just fried 2 eggs and ate them with rice. The next day I had a burger and fries for lunch. My other gay friends and I organized a leap year party that night but before I went to the party I had some errands to run. I also dropped by another friend’s house for dinner. On the way there I felt my stomach acting up.

This has been normal for me because I’d been hyperacidic since I was 12 and whenever I am stressed or excited, the usual manifestation is a bit of hyperacidity. So when I arrived at HoJ I asked for some antacid. I took two doses of Maalox and waited for it to take effect. But more than 30 minutes had past and I couldn’t feel any relief. The pain was already shooting up to my chest that I had to sit bent over slightly to lessen the pain. I was given Ranitidine, a more powerful antacid. I felt a bit of relief after a while, enough to socialize and partake the dinner of kare-kare, grilled hito, and crispy pata.

When I was on my way to the leap year party my belly started to ache again so much that I had to go home instead of going to the party. At home I took some more antacids and laid on my bed. I had a fitful sleep that night. On Saturday afternoon I bought some rotisserie chicken for lunch. That night my stomach acted up again and it kept me up until the next morning. The pain was excruciating, with an unwelcome addition: there was a perceptible pain on my right side that was radiating to my back. This was more bothersome than my bloated stomach because this pain was constant, and no body position seemed to alleviate it.

On Sunday, because of my fear of the stomach ache, I didn’t dare eat anything. I drank water, a cereal drink, milk, and juice. The pain subsided from a cacophony to a nagging hum that permeated my every move. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t write, I couldn’t sit in one place too long. I couldn’t even sleep for more than an hour. That night my symptoms increased: I had fever. Derick prescribed some antibiotics to take along with the present medicines I was taking. Doc Marisa gave the same advice when I finally saw her. They both suspected that it was my gall bladder. 

The next days passed almost the same way: I’d wake up fine enough to do some chores around the house, do some of my work, go to the pharmacy to replenish my medicines. As soon as afternoon arrives, the humming pain begins to buzz anew, then I’d spend the afternoon and early evening in bed because I am already feverish. I’d remain there until I either fall asleep, get up to change a sweaty shirt when the fever breaks, or amble around when the pain becomes unbearable lying down.

I was a bit bummed when no one (except for Derick) seemed to check up on me during the first 3 dyas or so. But I’m the type of person who likes to be left alone when sick or in pain anyway so that feeling quickly left. But still…

When my mother called from Manila it was difficult for me to conceal my pain but I chose to because I didn’t want her to panic. That, I think would only contribute to my own pain. She did ask me if I were okay more than she usually did, though. 

The pain itself almost became another being that embraced me in varying degrees of tightness. Sometimes it would choke out my very breath, but would soon release me and would seem to wipe the beads of cold sweat on my forehead. Sometimes it climbed on my back like a monkey; other times it held my hand as I walked. Sometimes in bed it would grip me hard enough to wake me up and sometimes it would just seem to lie there and watch me sleep. I know it sounds like the pain medication talking, but my only point is, the pain hasn’t left me at all.

This morning I went for an abdominal ultrasound and it confirmed our suspicion: I have gallstones. And a mild fatty liver.

Yep. The years of unhealthy eating here in Cambodia finally caught up with me. While the doctor was performing the ultrasound, I was thinking of all the stir-fried dishes my housekeeper prepared–swimming in oil, and always garnished with a chopped deep-fried slice of pork belly, the fried eggs that I ate when I didn’t feel like cooking, the fast-food burgers, pizzas, hotdogs, and chicken, and all the fried snacks: bananas and sweet potatoes. All those meat. Dang, and I was a vegetarian 10 years ago!

Tomorrow I am starting a 6-day treatment regimen to try and flush out my gallstones with no surgery. When that is done, there’s gonna be a lot of change with the way I eat (and live). This pain is not worth it.