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Last night I took a break from work (that I needed to finish before leaving on Sunday) and went to my friend’s house for dinner and chikahan in honor of a guest from Manila. I got there before 8PM and saw the familiar faces that I’ve come to adore in this ‘house of mirth’: Joy and Lou, the hosts, Badette, Dinky, Lala, Jojo, Angge (to whom I wasn’t introduced yet–I just learned her name in the course of our conversation), among others. Being one of the last to arrive, I was introduced by Dinky to Abner Mercado.

I told him that I’m a fan, with sincerity. Abner, in my opinion, is one of the most lucid voices in the news department of ABS-CBN. I admire his way of reporting: his incisiveness which is mixed with robust doses of sensitivity and insight.

And this was the first time that we’d officially been introduced to each other, though years ago, I’d often see him grocery shopping at Eunilaine–a small supermarket just outside UP Teachers’ Village. And years before that, in my short stint as a television writer for Balitang-K, I’d also often see him in the newsroom at ABS-CBN. I didn’t point these out anymore; I didn’t want him to think that my fan-ness is bordering on being a stalker.

Over a dinner of roast chicken, baked macaroni and tuna, pinakbet, and crispy pata (of course, I only ate the first 2 dishes, for health reasons), those of us who were sitting around the oval dining table talked of our lives here in Phnom Penh, the kind of work that we do, and the condition of our adopted country in general.

Jojo had just taken Abner and his cameraman (I didn’t get his name) to see the Tuol Sleng museum and the notorious killing fields in Cheung Ek in the day and Abner told us of how depressed he felt after the visit. That he couldn’t complete his on-camera spiels because of a swelling in his emotions. I told the group that this is why in my 4 years of living here in Cambodia, not once I haven’t gone to these places. His cameraman also said that there was some stray audio caught by the microphone of the camera that interfered with their video recording. I have similar stories but they’re for another post, I think.

As some of the people were having their post-prandial cigarettes (I was having leche flan), the conversation inevitably turned to the current situation in the Philippines. Abner quietly declared that he was not speaking as a journalist to Dinky (as a former Cabinet member) and the rest of us (a mixture of NGo and corporate professionals) when he related stories of how grim the political and economic climate has become in the Philippines. Corruption scandals are brought into light in an almost clock-work manner that I, as a spectator from afar, am beginning to feel a kind of fatigue from all these. I cannot imagine how people who are living in the Philippines must feel, especially my family.

But to me, the most resonating question was posed by Joy, which she stated while the discussion was focused on how great and how good Filipino overseas workers are. This question has been on the minds of many Filipinos who are into development work ever since these shenanigans of the current presidency came to the fore. If we are so good at what we do, how come we’re working in another country?

In the 80s, when I was in high school, I remember the term used by my Social Studies for the OFW phenomenon was ‘brain drain’. I guess this is all the more appropriate these days. 

This question got me thinking long after dinner, as I made my way back home, and now as I write this post. Frankly, I don’t know to answer that question also. I have many reasons for staying here in Cambodia, beyond career considerations. But more importantly, I think, I haven’t forgotten that I’m a Filipino even if I’m not in my country. I have stated, in fact, in my previous posts that I’ve become more nationalistic when I was living away from my country.

I have no doubts about my patriotism and love of country; I don’t think these can only be measured by staying in one’s home country. I know too that someday, I will settle back in the Philippines and be involved in the affairs of my country, as I am now, from a distance.