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The sweetest taboo
Sunday, June 22, 2008

I assured him that he’d like Manila. After all, he’d been there twice before already. ‘But this is different,’ he countered. ‘I was on holiday on my previous trips; I’m going to live there for a year at least.’ I told him what he’s feeling is just normal. ‘Just think of how T must have felt when he first came to Cambodia. Even I felt that way. And if we were able to adjust to life in a foreign country, so can you.’
We went back to planning his send-off dinner: when & where we’ll have it, who’s going to be invited, etc. Soon we were just eating. He must have noticed me fidgeting so he asked me if I wanted to tell him anything.
I didn’t want to, actually. I was never the kiss-and-tell type. But the information I was keeping was too delicious to be kept to myself. ‘I’m doing something naughty,’ I finally said. Smiling, he asked what it was. And I told him about my rebound boy, whom he vaguely knows. But when I told H that my rebound boy is about to be married in less than a week, I noticed that his smile faltered. Just a bit, but it faltered nonetheless.
I asked him why. ‘You can’t do that. You’re ruining the girl’s life.’ It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting from H, but not really a surprising reaction from a Cambodian, with their deep sense of modesty. Of course, this sense of modesty is also often predicated by actual actions in the bedroom. To stop the discussion from going to directions I am not ready to pursue, I told H that whatever is going on with rebound boy and I, it will stop as soon as he becomes officially married.
Good luck with that.
Like many gay men I know, married men exude a certain allure & attraction to me. I started becoming aware of this in my early twenties, when I felt strong attraction towards guys in their mid-40s, preferably married (although when I was 12 years old, I seduced a 37 year-old guy, but this is a totally different story). I’ve had sex with a number of them, yes, but there was never a relationship. Unlike many of gay guys who feel guilty about bedding a married man, I was never bothered by it. I mean, I’m not the one who’s cheating on his wife, so why should I feel guilty (even if the guy is cheating with me)? But nevertheless I didn’t enter a relationship with a married man even if the opportunity presented itself many times in my youth.
I didn’t see the point of doing so. Although having sexual relationships with a married man does have its inherent ‘naughty’ appeal (seducing a married man takes great skills and success brings a huge ego boost), playing second fiddle was, still is, not my thing. And that myth about married men much being better in bed? Most of the time it’s just that: a myth.
In any case, my attraction to married men reached its peak in my mid-20s then faded altogether. I was already here in Phnom Penh when I got involved with a married guy (and I only found out that he’s married months after meeting him). Up to now, this guy (chronicled in my past articles here) and I meet occasionally for some good ol’ shag.
Now, how do I feel about guys with boyfriends (cue sound of snakes hissing)? Strange as it may seem, bedding a guy who has a boyfriend is something I try very hard not to do (I slipped only once in my whole gay life). I don’t clearly know why I seem to give more respect to the sanctity of a gay relationship over that of a married man & woman. I’ve always felt this way for as long as I can remember.
Still, I don’t know where this thing with rebound boy will take me. There is that huge possibility that he’d probably want nothing to do with me (and gay sex) after the wedding. I wouldn’t mind that at all. He is about to surpass the normal shelf life of a rebound boy anyway. If we become friends, I think it’d be the best outcome of our short entanglement.
But will I be able to face his wife? To answer this I will quote Shirley Maclaine when she was asked how she will manage if Madonna became her sister-in-law (Madonna was dating her younger brother Warren Beaty that time). Ms Maclaine replied icily, “As easy as flinging a pie to the wall.”
Previous Comments
hmmmm i get you when you say na it’s sexy and naughty specially wanting and having something that is “kinda” forbidden. i have my own taste of this forbidden kind of things though not with married men… though there is really a certain allure to them but i have yet to test myself hahahahahaha…..
Posted by daden at June 24, 2008, 6:20 pmi had a one time big time crush with two married men just recently. sharappp gibo! hehehe kaso we are too straight … charot!
Posted by jericho at June 25, 2008, 4:16 pmjericho..are u referring to ramon and gi? chos!
ay hindi ko pala ito blog, sori!
Posted by gibo at June 27, 2008, 1:55 ami would agree with H.
experience taught me well, zen. i just wish i won’t be stumbling on them ever again.
but if ever i would, i will just say hi. even if it means going to another spot in the gay sauna.
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Posted by Jose Manuel at July 7, 2008, 11:35 pmAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.











hmm i find married men sexy as well, specially when they are out in the park or malls pushing a pram with his baby in it. will i sleep with them? hmm i still have to test myself.
Posted by gibo at June 23, 2008, 6:55 pm