Manila

My second attack of gallstones did not last as long as the first, but the degree of pain I felt was the same as the previous, if not more. This time also, I wasn’t able to hide the fact that I was sick from Mother. Since learning to chat via Yahoo Messenger, the fortnightly phone call from Manila turned into a thrice-weekly conversation.

I had actually been planning to go to Saigon to seek consultation and if needed, have the surgery there as well. Actually, the second attack made me think that most probably, surgery will be advised by the doctor. I have asked FV Hospital for a quotation, and was ready to take it up when Mother strongly suggested that I seek treatment in Manila instead. Aside from having someone watch over me before and after surgery, having the procedure done in Manila has some monetary benefits as well, mainly from PhilHealth–the health insurance system for Filipino workers.

But going to Manila posed some challenges as well. The airfare, for one, has increased exponentially. The last time I went home (December 2006), a round-trip ticket with Thai Airways cost $475.00. Now it is $745.00. Being a freelance worker, I always pay for my expenses: plane tickets, visa, professional development, etc. Also, I was in the thick of finishing a project. Choices and decisions had to be made immediately.

In the end, I decided to go to Manila. I don’t clearly know why. I think my primary consideration was getting the best health care possible. Then, getting that care with my family around me. And perhaps also, the fact that it had been 18 months since I last came back home. Going back is one of the biggest decisions I had made recently.

So now I’m in my parents’ house in Manila, enjoying their DSL internet connection, writing this. I arrived last night, after spending 4 hours in Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok. During this long lay-over, I browsed the book shops where I almost bought 2 books. I decided to get a 30-minute foot massage from Chang and ended up getting an hour of foot, head, shoulder and back massage for just a few dollars more. Very glad that I did; I was very relaxed when I boarded the flight.

I was seated beside a 32 year-old seafarer who chatted me up for most of the trip. He wore an orange shirt that bulged with his muscles. We talked about our respective jobs. He showed genuine interest when I told him I worked in the AIDS field. His excitement was palpable. He admitted this and said it was because his wife was supposed to give birth in 2 weeks. This was their second pregnancy but she miscarried during the first trimester of the pregnancy. Then he asked me about my wife. He sounded really surprised when I said I was single. I didn’t elaborate anymore.

Men’s assumption of other men’s heterosexuality is always fascinating to me. I would’ve loved to make him squirm in his seat by saying I’m gay but I was too mellow from the massage to be naughty. A few minutes after dozing off, I felt his thigh and foot rubbing against mine. But when I looked at him I saw he was fast asleep. He’s just a fitful sleeper, as it turned out.

I lost him somewhere at the baggage claim section.

The drive  home was swift, and I was suddenly distracted with unwelcome thoughts. I suddenly felt afraid of what the consultation will confirm. Surgery suddenly became an ominous thought. I barely slept last night.

This morning Mother and I went to a laboratory for the series of blood exams that will be needed to complete a diagnosis. On Monday we will go to the Philippine General Hospital for a consultation. I have left next week open for a possible hospital admission. I am told that recovery is brief; I hope it really is.