Girls & boys

This morning, in the plenary session of the second day of the 3rd National AIDS Conference in Cambodia, the national strategic framework for addressing HIV among males-who-have-sex-with-males–or MSM, was presented. It was placed smack in the middle of the 17 presentations in the session, which presented the various strategic plans of the other ministries. Because of the sheer number of presentations, there was only time for 3 questions in the forum that followed.

One of the questions inquired why lesbians were excluded in all the plans and frameworks. There was an almost palpable rumble in the room as the audience reacted to the question. Because it was asked in Khmer, the translation I got was ‘lady-to-lady’. A representative of the government said that there were reasons for this. One, there was no statistical data on the ‘exact’ number of lesbians in Cambodia; very little data, in fact, about them. Two, their sexual activities were not considered high risk, as compared to MSM who ’sleep with both men and women’.

More nervous laughter from the audience. Vic and I looked at each other and almost collectively rolled our eyes. That question could have answered in a better way. After all, there have been (few, but there are) studies around the world done on the vulnerabilities of lesbians to HIV. While it is true that their risk for HIV transmission is lower compared to those who have sex using a penis, there is still risk. Besides, in a country like Cambodia, where lesbians are more ‘hidden’ than gay men, the risks are different. Like their gay counterparts, I would think that many Cambodian lesbians are married. Spousal transmission of HIV is a big issue in Cambodia, accounting for a considerable share of new transmissions since the prevalence among the first-to-be-identified risk groups began declining. Meanwhile, Cambodian women in general are vulnerable to violence, specifically rape.

However, my point isn’t really about HIV transmission. I am more piqued by the attitude towards non-heterosexuals. Like Filipinos, Cambodians like to smile and laugh, especially at things that they do not really understand and accept. The nervous laughter from the audience–who are supposed to know better about gender and sexuality than other Cambodians because of their involvement in AIDS work, tells me that not much has changed in their attitudes. Even the interpreter demonstrated this ‘discomfort’ because everytime males-who-have-sex-with-males is mentioned, his translation becomes a series of aahs, that made me think, ‘that’s how a water buffalo would sound if it were stuttering’.

I can only imagine how this same audience would react if they’d seen Venus Boyz (Gabriel Baur, 2001). Vic and I saw this film at Meta House, a gallery/cafe here in Phnom Penh that shows arthouse films and documentaries regularly. Vic had thought that this film was about drag queens but we were surprised to see that it was about drag kings instead. A little vocabulary lesson: a drag queen is a man/male who dresses as a woman either on a performance or on a daily basis. A drag king, meanwhile, is a woman/female who dresses as a man either on a performance or on a daily basis.

The film chronicles the participants in a ‘drag king night’ in a New York club. One of them is Haitian-American Mildred or ‘Dred’ Gerestant, who became friends with a drag queen aptly called ‘Queen Bee Luscious’ after he tried to pick her up.

Another is Dianne Torr, a drag king long before it became trendy, who raises a 16-year-old daughter. She is pictured below, with his drag-kings-in-waiting (and training).

Then there’s Storm Webber, a poet and a singer, with native American ancestry.

From Germany there is Bridge Markland, who uses her name to describe her position in the sexuality continuum (if ever there was one). And from London there is Del LaGrace Volcano who, with a group of transgendered females, sometimes call herself ‘cyborg’ because they are experimenting with testosterone injections to alter their bodies.

The documentary unfolds slowly, but it is riveting nonetheless. There’s a lot of stuff for those who are looking for the exotic and the ‘freakish’ (I mean this in the best way possible), enough to confuse and confound not just the hapless Cambodians with their modest and reserved ways but also some gay men. But the most poignant aspects of the film to me are those that show universal feelings and issues on love, affection, relationships, sexual appetites, etc. 

I particularly liked the bit of story between Storme Webber and Dred, who tried to date each other until they figured out ‘who they were supposed to be to each other’. That they were not supposed to be lovers. When they recognized this fact, their relationship got so much better. Storme said they fought a lot when they were dating. Now who can say that they never felt this way, regardless of sexual preference/orientation/identity?

It made me think of Blur’s ‘Girls & Boys’ whose chorus went like this: ‘Girls who are boys / Who like boys to be girls / Who do boys like they’re girls / Who do girls like they’re boys / Always should be someone you really love’ (Hence, the title of this post).

After watching the film, as we were having a late dinner of Vietnamese noodles and spring rolls, Vic and I talked about the things that we thought of after watching this film. The complexity of gender (Vic remembered the line, ‘Gender is a performance’.), the effects of stereotyping, the real differences between females and males, etc. There was a lot of discussion on what goes in their minds when they ‘perform’ as drag kings. The shows themselves demonstrate that there’s a lot of thinking that went into each action, each element of the performance.

I thought, this is so unlike when men do drag. While I was doing drag shows with my friends, if I got asked why I did it, I would have just answered, ‘Wala lang’ (no particular reason). Imagine what kind of film would that response have made (pretty boring and so kainez [annoying]!).

Sure, we (my friends and I, not all drag queens) thought of what to wear, what make-up to use, what music to play, and what to do to enhance the production but did we think of the social and philosophical implications and ramifications of our actions? I don’t think so.

I hope to find this DVD in my friendly neighborhood (pirated) DVD store.