Spotlight

Spotlight - Jennifer Hudson

About a week ago a fellow blogger and I chatted briefly over Yahoo Messenger. We were both taking a break from work (he, at the office, me, at home) and we were just chatting idly until the topic drifted to blogging. If I remember correctly, we were discussing another blogger who discontinued his blog (a good one, if I may so boldly declare) because of privacy issues. In a nutshell, he apparently wrote things in the blog that were not meant for a certain group of friends, who were able to read it, so he decided to just stop blogging (he has created a new blog, and we his fellow pink bloggers heaved a sigh of relief that he jumped back into blogging).

K asked me a number of questions, such as what my vision for my blog was, is, on how open am I with regards to the things I talk about, the extent of editing that I do with each post, etc. I was not surpised that a few days later he came with a post that dealt with this particular topic. I loved reading the post, because it was a refreshing departure to his blog’s usual flippant, bitchy, and frivolous (his exact words) tone. And more importantly, it made me think of the reasons why I persist on blogging. I mean, counting my first blog at Friendster, I’d been blogging for more than 2 years now. This can be extended further if my weekly email column in 2001 will be counted.

I told K that I see my blog as an extension of myself. The Zen Bitch is not my alter-ego, as compared to Mimi Kikimura (my drag name). The Zen Bitch is more like a nickname, bestowed upon me 12 years ago by an old friend (who by the way has not been friendly with me for reasons that escape me). This blog does not represent my hidden desires and longings. I might, from time to time, post stories that can be considered private. But since I decided to commit it to a medium that is accessible to anybody, it means I am at least, unlocking its lock of privacy.

Which brings me to the second point. How open am I with the things I write about it this blog? I cannot provide a quantifiable answer to this, I’m afraid. I mean, I write about things that I feel like writing about. I write about my life here in Phnom Penh, my work, my relationships with family, friends, lovers, and everything in between. I also write about my sex life. When a news story arouses some emotion in me, I write about it and give my opinion on the matter. Same goes for issues like the ineptitude of the Philippine government, the Catholic church’s bullying tactics on Reproductive Health advocates, the endemic social injustice here in Cambodia, etc. Did I mention that I write about my sex life, too?

One can say, this bitch is pretty much open, right? Well, yes, and no. As I told K, it would seem that my life is open like the pages of one’s most-loved book or like the legs of one’s favorite whore. But there are still many things about me that an average reader will not learn from just reading my blogs. When I write about the things that are happening to me, I usually write in broad strokes, focusing on the emotions of the experience rather than the nitty-gritty details. And when I write about other people, I usually use initials as much as possible.

But this ‘editorial’ decision did not happen right away. Reviewing my older posts, I realized that in the first months I was also trying to discover my tone for this blog. Heck, I even tried writing in Taglish (Tagalog-English) in some of the posts! In my experience, it was like a trial and error thing, trying out things to see if they fit, discarding those that didn’t and retaining the things that worked.

This is where editing was put to good and effective use. Usually, my posts are saved as drafts for at least 6 hours before they are published. This gives me enough time to review the post for typo errors and general cohesiveness. Some drafts are re-written entirely while some still are completely scrapped. If my readers notice, I always try to put a lead, a body, and a conclusion in every post. Sometimes I manage to do so, sometimes I don’t. This takes some more work, but I don’t mind, because this is my personal decision.

Also, I think it is important for a blogger to know for whom s/he is writing. In my case, I write for myself so I am largely unconcerned with what people might think about my blog. Because whatever they think of my blog, it cannot be about my person. Like I said, this blog is but an extension of myself; I am not my blog.

And I think this is the beauty of blogging. It puts a premium on individuality. Everyone can create a blog that is as personal as possible. And because this is so, everyone is in control of what s/he wants to share in this marvelous medium. The spotlight can be zoomed in for the closest scrutinizing look, or out for a wider view of things.