Pride (In the name of love)

Pride (In The Name of Love) - U2

Like my fellow blogger Super G, I wasn’t able to attend the Manila Pride March this year. Obviously, being here in Phnom Penh prevented me from doing so. Super G, meanwhile, was too fashionably late and missed the march. I hope he didn’t miss the party that followed which, in my experience, can sometimes be more interesting than the parade itself.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, this year’s Pride March marks the start of simultaneous pride marches in Visayas and Mindanao, which are major cities south of Manila. According to an article posted in fridae.com, about 40 organizations–bringing their contingents, floats, and costumes, registered and participated this year. Making it the biggest Pride March so far. Not so sure about this claim, though. I have to verify this with my friends in Manila. One of the biggest pride marches in the past was in 1998,  I think, because it coincided with the celebration of the 100th Anniversary of the Phillipine Republic.

Nevertheless, biggest or not, I’m sure this year’s parade is a huge media affair and an excellent platform to put forward important issues that affect Filipino LGBTs, like discrimination, access to health information & services, equal rights to education & employment, etc. Thailand used its Pride March in the same way. Now, even Hong Kong is poised to hold its first-ever LGBT Pride March this Saturday.

Unfortunately, this is not only the history-making aspect of this year’s parade. This year also marks the presence of church-based anti-gay protesters in the Pride March. A new phenomenon, this is. In all the years I’ve attended Pride Marchers, I have never seen this kind of protesters. The photos posted in fridae.com (which I am posting here, too) reminded me of Christian fundamentalists in the US protesting abortions clinics and LGBT pride parades.

And true enough, one photo showed a Caucasian guy, megaphone hanging from his shoulders, mouth contorted, rabidly pointing at someone outside the frame. What the f**k, I thought. I never thought I’d see it in Manila but there they were, in their full rabid glory. There’s something really creepy about these Christian fundamentalists. However, there’s also something funny about them. Of course, the way they interpret the verses of the Bible is funny enough, but everybody knows that. One thing that makes me giggle is the fact that whenever they make signs and placards, there are always some grammatical gaffs that occur. Case in point, the photo below. How can they expect to be taken seriously, when they’re not serious about the way they speak (or write)?

Responding only to well-written (or well-spoken) insults is one of my principles in life. But, hey, it’s just me.

It’s a good thing that the equally good people of MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) came up with a more witty retort, displayed in a gorgeous banner, to counteract these ignorant bible-thumpers.

Hay, reading the article really made me wish that I was in Manila in time for the Pride March. I would’ve loved to see my old friends and fellow LGBT activists, march around Malate in the afternoon sun, to be immersed in the sea of colors at Remedios Circle, and party all night. Next year, perhaps…

all photos courtesy of Laurindo Garcia and fridae.com

Pride (a deeper love)

Pride (a deeper love) - C+C Music Factory

The cover of the December issue of The Advocate, the US-based LGBT magazine, identifies the struggle for gay rights as the last great civil rights struggle. I’m thinking it’s probably like comparing it to space, the final frontier, when it came to civil rights advocacy. I’m probably oversimplifying the implication but this is how the phrase struck me. Of course, there is still a whole gamut of social ills that are prevalent in this world but, hey, I’m pretty sure they did this with good reason. The fight for LGBT rights is a raging battle in the US. California-based activities are still reeling from their defeat on Proposition 8. But people are hopeful that the Obama presidency will be more sensitive to the LGBT community.

Many many miles away in the Philippines, the LGBT community is holding its annual pride march on Saturday, December 6. The call of this year’s celebration is Live, Love and Unite for Pride. In true manifestation of unity, simultaneous marches will be held in Luzon (Manila), Visayas (Cebu), and Mindanao (Lanao). Truly historic.

I attended my first pride march in 1996. But, because I wasn’t out yet to my family, I opted to stay as a spectator of the parade. A year later, I covered the pride march as a reporter for a news magazine show. This was the excuse I gave my mother for being there in the event. But after covering the event, and rushing back to the studio to edit the story for airing the next day, as I was having an exceptionally delicious breakfast, I admitted to my mother that I am gay. I didn’t blurt it out; I just said yes when she asked. This story is a bit funny; I will tell it at another time.

After that, attending the suceeding pride marches have been easy for me. I attended these events with my boyfriend(s) and I had fun. I continually managed to evade being interviewed by news report because they normally chased those who were in costume, which I never did. Drag was something I explored here in Cambodia.

I wish I had all the photos I took but I can only share a couple of them. The previous pride marches used to be held in June, as it was patterned after the American pride march, which celebrated the anniversary of the Stonewall uprising of 1969. But it was moved to December, partly due to the weather. June is the middle of the rainy season in the Philippines. Whereas December is a cool and dry month.

This year, I’ve been hearing a lot (and reading a lot too) about the pride march. I can only wish that I was there to celebrate with my brothers and sisters in celebrating gay pride. And reminding ourselves and others that the struggle is still on-going. That the journey is still long, and taxing. But together, it can be completed.

Where are you Christmas

Where Are You Christmas - Faith Hill

It’s that time of the year again. There is a persistent cold front that is giving overcast days and nippy nights here in Phnom Penh. The chill reminds me that Christmas is just around the corner. And that I needed to make and send out my own Christmas card.

I have written in a previous post how I’d been making my own Christmas cards since 2004. How I came to using my images in drag and designing cards around these images. The design of my cards are not conventional. I mean, not many people use cowboy and disco motifs on Christmas cards. Heck, except for a few specialty cards, you’d rarely find a drag queen in a Christmas card.

It took me longer to come up with a design. I guess I over-thought it, so I stopped working on it and did many other things. Until the inspiration came. I wouldn’t want to pre-empt it so I’m showing it now. I’ll tell you something about it later.

The inspiration for the design, obviously, was the environment. This year, there have been a profusion of campaigns and events on the environment: concerts around the world for the planet, saving the ice shelf, reversing global warming, reducing our carbon footprints, and so on. So I thought, why not use this motif on a Christmas card? Green, after all, is also one of the colors of Christmas. Think Poison Ivy meets The Grinch. The title of this post is, befittingly, the theme song of that Grinch film with Jim Carrey.

Also, another factor (but not the deciding one) is the Philippines’ victory in the Miss Earth pageant. Her now-famous quote, which had thankfully eclipsed that idiotic rambling of another beauty queen in another pageant, was certainly a breath of fresh air, in my humble opinion.

I also said in that previous post that I was thinking of not using an image of me in drag in this year’s card but I eventually decided against it. After all, as a guy, I am hardly an interesting subject or material for any card. Although technically, this isn’t me in drag. I had no make-up here; it was just a wig, really. And an electric fan.

So there, I hope you enjoyed viewing my Christmas card. And I hope the joy of the holiday season grows on all of us!

Never is a promise

Never is a Promise - Fiona Apple

Today is World AIDS Day. 2008 is also the 20th anniversary of World AIDS Day. Not the anniversary of the AIDS epidemic, but the observance of a day when people living with HIV/AIDS, those working in the field of AIDS, and other stakeholders around the world come together to commemorate and to remind themselves that there is much more to be done in addressing this epidemic.

World AIDS Day, or WAD, in Cambodia is a particularly huge event. Many things happen in Phnom Penh and in the provinces. It is, in fact, a non-working holiday here–one of the UN holidays that are considered as non-working holidays here (the others are International Women’s Day and Human Rights Day, among others). This year, I am not involved in any of the WAD celebrations in Phnom Penh. Aside from this blog, I have no other contribution to the ‘celebration’.

This year’s theme is ‘Lead, Empower, Deliver’, which is closely related to last year’s theme, leadership. According to the UNAIDS website, designating leadership as the theme provides an opportunity to both highlight political leadership and celebrate leadership that has been witnessed at all levels of society. In his official message, out-going UNAIDS Executive Director Peter Piot states that, “Presidents and prime ministers, doctors and lawyers, scientists and schoolteachers, chiefexecutives and trade union leaders, religious groups and communities, and critically people living with HIV, are coming together in a brilliant coalition that has proved that, with clear targets and strong commitment, we can move mountains”.

He is also quick to point out that ‘many more mountains remain to be moved’. HIV/AIDS programmes around the world is affected by the on-going gloabl economic and financial crisis. Expansion of HIV prevention and treatment is critical, especially in the so-called ‘low and slow epidemic’ countries like the Philippines. The effects of gender inequality and weak health and social systems in delivering health information and services to those who need it continues to resonate in many places.

These are just one of the things that are in the minds of those who are infected and affected by the AIDS epidemic. Cambodia’s efforts have been commendable for reversing a very high prevalence rate but these gains will be overshadowed if it fails to respond to the rapidly changing trends of HIV infection among emergingpopulation groups. While new interventions are promising, Cambodia’s HIV/AIDS programming deserves a re-boot, so to speak.

The HIV/AIDS epidemic in the Philippines has long baffled epidemiologists and public health practitioners. In the last 20 years, incidence has remained low and the increase in the infected has been slow. All the signs point in the direction of a full-blown epidemic, the likes of which was seen in Thailand: multiple sex partners, a thriving sex industry, almost non-existent condom use, high incidence of sexually transmitted infections like syphilis, and so on. But no significant change occurred, until recently.

Apparently, the Philippine Department of Health is ‘grappling with the problem of declaring an HIV epidemic among MSM (males-who have-sex-with-males)’. This article is the first ‘official’ declaration/recognition of the rise of HIV related to male same-sex behaviour. I am also glad that the DoH was enlightened enough not to go the way of Singapore, whose health minister blamed all MSM for his country’s HIV epidemic. This is, however, just the tip of the iceberg. The Philippine HIV epidemic will prove to be as complex as the epidemics in other countries like Cambodia, requiring an equally complex response.

NGOs in the Philippines implementing HIV prevention and treatment have been constrained by a lack of available funds because of this ‘low-and-slow’ status. Who knows, if the spotlight is focused on the Philippine HIV epidemic, maybe more funds for programmes will become more available.

But if Cambodia was able to deal with its HIV epidemic, I am confident that the Philippines can as well. Cambodia, in fact, has benefited from programs developed in the Philippines. Its AIDS law is modeled after the AIDS law in the Philippines. Not to mention the human resources of Filipino consultants who are currently working in Cambodia in the AIDS field (myself included).

However, critical in the response to HIV is the leadership. Cambodia is fortunate to have a leadership that do not pander to the whims of a church that vociferously resists the promotion of sexual health. Of course, this doesn’t mean that they (Cambodia’s leaders) do not pander to other influencers. This is totally a different story. But when it comes to HIV programming, I think Cambodia is more open compared to the Philippines.

I am, however, confident that this will also change in the near future.

Dear lie

Dear Lie - TLC

I am not a good judge of character. For many years I believed this to be true. In the last 8 years or so I’ve come to trust my intuition when it comes to people around me. When I meet a person for the first time, I sometimes get these ‘feelings’ that I’ve come to rely upon whether to continue interacting with this person or not. When I’m with a person, I am also sometimes able to sense whether this person is being truthful or just pulling my leg.

Events in the last 12 months have caused me to question the reliability of (and my confidence on) this intuition. Becoming friends with the wrong kind of people have resulted in betrayal and deception that brought me distress and pain. I had hoped for the end of this kind of experience by becoming more cautious of the people I associate with. But, as it is turning out now, I had hoped for too much.

Another friend, whom I have known for more than 2 years here in Cambodia and have come to trust, apparently has a side that was completely hidden from me. One that lies, cheats, and will do anything to sustain a lifestyle that is clearly beyond what s/he is earning.

Since Wednesday I have been wracked with these feelings about the things that I have been discovering about this friend of mine. I am literally in a state of shock. Astounded to realize what s/he is apparently capable of: spinning tales, self-aggrandizement, borrowing money from various people to pay up past debts, and maligning siblings and relatives just to appear the suffering hero to friends, among others.

I can’t stand it. I won’t.

This friend has not done anything to me that comes close to what has been done to other people. We have had mishaps and I have given this friend a piece of my mind about what s/he has done to me. I mean, after the deception and betrayal of MS and DR, it would really be pathetic if I didn’t learn anything from these experiences. But why do I need to wait for something bad to happen to me? My gut tells me to just end my association with this person.

But this is a very painful decision to make. A huge part of me wants to help this person while another knows that pathological liars (if this person is indeed one) seldom change. Pathological lying is also a symptom of being a sociopath, which is a much deeper problem, I think.

If I seem sanctimonious, it is not intentional. I am not perfect, so who am I to judge? I have gone through a phase in my life when my lying got so out of control it hurt me and my parents. I like to think that I have turned over a new leaf. I have discovered the simple yet lasting pleasures of being honest and truthful and have decided to embody it. Until now, honesty is something I work very hard to attain, and maintain. Like a recovering addict, the compunction to lie is something I still fight and struggle against.

If I can do it, I’m sure others can also. But I don’t have the energy and the time to make others do what I have done. Call me self-absorbed and self-centered. See if I care.

This afternoon, another friend and I were chatting. I had to tell someone what I had learned to unload some of the distress that I’d been feeling in the last 2 days. She is similarly shocked, because she knows this friend as well. Towards the end of our chat she blurted out, ‘Why are you so close with this kind of people?’ Perfectly without malice, I honestly think, but I was somehow offended by the question.

The saying ‘birds of the same feather flock together’ came to mind. I gave a somewhat flippant and funny response on deeds done in my past lives and karma and this thread in our conversation was cut to give way to other topics. But it got me thinking. This is probably another reason why I’m upset with all these goings-on. When the thing with MS and DR happened, part of my distress was due to the embarrassment and shame of having friends of this nature, of not being able to see through their deception until it was too late.

Kind of like a rape or mugging victim who is wondering what could s/he have done to invite such violation of self. Now I’m having similar feelings. What kind of fool am I? I seem to attract and be surrounded by unsavory characters. What does this say about me? Call me narcissistic. I don’t care.

I don’t know how things will turn out for me and this friend. I am afraid to imagine and speculate. But however it ends, I hope it ends well for both of us.

Here I go again, hoping.