Monsoon musings

Malakas ang Ulan

Sa gitna ng unos

Na tila walang katapusan,

Sa lakas ng buhos

Ng tubig sa kapaligiran,

Tahimik kong yapos

Ang napakalambot kong unan:

Damdamin ko’y lubos

Na ramdam ang katahimikan

Kahit mayro’ng unos,

Sa piling nitong aking unan

Di mangingipuspos

Mawalay man sa minamahal,

Kahit na matapos

Ang matamis naming ugnayan. 

phnom penh, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman 

Things I keep telling myself

mantra 

you’re okay–

you don’t miss him

you don’t need him;

you’re good–

he doesn’t deserve you

he’s nothing without you; 

you’re fine–

you do not think of him

you don’t dream of him;

you’re well–

thing will become better

you’ll find someone better. 

you’re well.

you’re fine.

you’re good.

you’re okay.

phnom penh, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman 

Freedom is lonely

Heto na naman

Nang muling mapag-isa

Nang muling makalaya

Di alam ang gagawin

Di batid ang damdamin.

Di alam kung kailan

Di na alam kung saan 

Huli kong naramdaman

Ganitong pakiramdam.

Gawin lahat ng nais

Tumawa o tumangis

Mag-isang madarama

Ang lungkot ng malaya.

phnom penh 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman 

Confidences, part 3

Ballad to a Young Man 

Yours is the stone face

I’ve seen in museums

Brought to vibrant life:

The unmistakable mouth 

Gently curving to a smile,

The distinct slope of brows

Framing leaf-shaped eyes, 

The gentle flare of nostrils

That evoke sheer virility.

Yours is the stone body

I’ve beheld so many times

Brought to pulsating life:

Your neck rises gracefully,

Betraying its silent strength 

The skin of your shoulders

Is supple as it is smooth,

Your long-fingered hands

Delicate as they are robust.

I long to rest my head 

On the expanse of your chest,

Feel it rise with each breath;

I yearn to be cocooned

In the safe nest of your arms,

Surrounded by your warmth;

If only to dispel the cold

Indifference of the stony object

Of my unreturned affections.

for OS, my secret source of joy

phnom penh, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman 

Confidences, part 2

Gisado 

Unang bumuhos ang luha

Nang sibuyas ay hiniwa,

Kasunod ay nang isalang

Ang mga sangkap kung saan

Mantika ay tumilamsik

Sa balat nang parang halik,

Huli ay nang maalala

Kung pa’no dating nagisa

Sa sarili kong mantika. 

para kay Daden, aking kadamay sa kasawian 

phnom penh, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman 

Confidences

Pillow Confession

Each time you say 

You want to fuck me

With a child-like glee

There’s just no way

For me to refuse you

To do what you do

With unending passion

That drives me mad

With desire I never had

Making me question

All things I have known

When I was all alone 

phnom penh, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman 

Moving on

Bagong Ba(u)hay

Nailagay na ang bawat muebles

Sa kanilang itinakdang lugar;

Nabuksan na lahat ng kahon at

Naisalansan lahat ng laman: 

Plato, baso, at mga kubyertos,

Kawali, kaldero, pati kalan; 

Nailatag na ang kobre-kama

Napundahan na ang mga unan;

Nailiigpit na lahat ng supot,

Nawalis na ang kapaligiran.

Ang tanging kailangan kong gawin: 

Pagbabagong ito’y panindigan,

Tanggaping lubos ang hinaharap 

Iwaksi ang pait ng nagdaan.

phnom penh, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman  

On the road

Road Trips 

All these roads

Have kept me company

These past weeks:

Silent against my haste,

Indifferent to my motions.

I don’t mind;

Amid the rush of coping

With the demands of life

My recalcitrant heart 

Welcomes all distractions:

Bustling bus rides,

Bumpy motorcycle jaunts,

Drives along dark highways,

Even the solitude of cars

Hurtling towards loneliness.

kampong speu, 2008

copyright Michael P. De Guzman